LCL

Two years ago today my grandfather died. It was a day that forever changed my life. I had faced the idea of the people I loved dying, after all I have always been ready for Pat to die but this was the first time it came true. My grandfather and I were quite close. We talked frequently and there was no disharmony between us. While I miss him horribly, I can't regret anything other than his absence. This is not always the case when people part from each other.

Last year to commemorate his death and to help with the fact it made me hate Christmas, I had the idea of making ornaments for each member of my family and the friends who are also my family. That way no matter where I am, the people I love are with me for the holiday. I sat and made a list of what one thing would mean each person and made a plan to make that. I got all the materials to make my first one, my grandfather's. Unfortunately last year, the day before the anniversary of his death, Western Washington lost power for over a week. In spending my energy just to survive the storm the ornaments slipped to the back of my brain and I moved on.

My grandfather's ornament was to be three scrabble tiles spelling out "LCL." My grandfather and I played scrabble when I was quite young. I played the letters LCL as they are my initials. My grandfather told me these were his initials too. I was upset because well I didn't really get that you could share such things (ah the egocentrism of the pre-operational stage of cognitive development!) Later in life I came to treasure the connection and was even a little sad to change my name when I got married since the initials wouldn't match anymore.

Last night when I was searching for something in my car, I looked in the glove compartment and found a yellow envelope with the three titles. I had stuck it in there to keep them from getting lost. I sat for awhile, thought about grandpa and the other partings in my life, some of which I regret and resolved to make the ornaments. Now I just need a glue gun. How can I not have a glue gun?

To go with this fit of craftiness, I also built a myspace page yesterday. I think I mostly did it because I love designing and creating more than an actual desire to have a myspace or use it to socialize. I don't really get the socialization rules of myspace. It seems to me the main purpose of it is to put graphics on your friend's pages that consist of a handful of glitter and a half naked woman. I'm not sure how this consitutes flirting or maintaining a friendship with someone. This makes me feel kinda old. Oh well here is my Pretty Page. What cracks me up with that I chose to put one of those music players on it. I have always been a little annoyed at those things because when I go to someone's page I end up having to hear their music which is inconvenient at work, in class or in the library, and those are the three places I basically live. But still I put one on, because if you are going to see my page, should hear something beautiful. It's the experience.